C'est la vie

Monday, March 28, 2011

I just realized

I've been trying to find who I am lately. Maybe that's my problem though. I feel like I can't find who I'm supposed to be, but I'm looking for all the wrong things. I shouldn't be finding myself, but creating myself. These are the years to decide what I want for myself. The years to fuck up and go with it, because I'm creating myself in the process. The years to mess up and learn from my mistakes. I have a feeling that process never ends though; the creating yourself part. Obviously things change. If you don't believe that, then we have deeper problems.
I'm certain of a few things: I love yoga. I feel most myself when I'm immersed in nature. I feel like a better person when the trash is recycled and the lights are off. Even though I love being outdoors and being casual, I am obsessed with fashion.

All of these things are coming together and I've been trying to decide if I want to be the fashion guru, or the organic yogi, or the tomboy who couldn't give a shit, but I'm allowed to be a combination. I'm allowed to form whoever I want and be that person. Be me. That's exciting to me, making something of what I've been given. I love the thought of being free and not having to be something for someone. I can be whatever I please at the moment, because it's all a part of me. Yayy for realizations.

Monday, March 14, 2011

What do I believe in?

I believe in speaking your mind: being who you are with no apologies. I believe in being yourself, because without you, who do you have? I believe in magic and love and fireworks and sparkles and all that too-good-to-be-true nonsense. I believe in imperfections, because with imperfections we can truly enjoy beauty. I believe in candles and yoga and meditation being capable of releasing toxins from your body. I believe in letting go of things when the time comes, realizing at one point, you're not going to be able to change the situation, and get over it. I believe in having a plan and not sticking to it in the slightest. I believe in doing things that will create memories and regrets - because I believe you can't have one without the other. I believe in whether there's a god or there isn't, I'll be just fine. Because I believe it is what it is and whatever happens happens.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The thing with guys on tv...

they're not real. They don't say the perfect thing at the perfect time; they recite the perfect lines they memorized from a script. They get the hopes up of girls across the country, and raise our expectations. As hot as a vampire can be, they don't exist. We're never going to have an extremely hot, mysterious relationship with the sexiest of sexy teachers. Why do they do this to us? Make us want things that don't happen in real life. It's frustrating to say the least. I want my own Stefan Salvatore. Why is a troubled, bad ass, Ryan Atwood so much more appealing than the average kid at school? Ryan Gosling. The Notebook. Need I say more?

Sunday, February 27, 2011

let's get real

It's weird to me how we all judge each other. I see a girl walking down the street pushing a shopping cart filled with old bags and dirty clothes. I immediately assume the worst of her, and expect her to be some coke whore, when she may have lost her husband and can't find a job and is forced to be homeless. I do this to her and expect to be treated differently. Why? How does that make any sense at all? Why do we do that to other people; try to find their flaws and judge them before we know a single thing about them. I think it's because we want to make our life seem a lot better than someone else's; we put others down to make ourselves feel better, and if you think you don't do it, the only person you're fooling is yourself. Our past actions and happenings make us who we are today...the good, the bad, and the ugly. As much as you might regret something, it has formed a piece of you. So as we walk the halls of our caddy high school and eye that clumsy freshman up and down, look at yourself and know you're not perfect either. They're probably doing the same thing to you, so take in how it feels. It's real, it's raw, and it's ruling this country. Make it stop.